Marriage is the most beautiful affair that establishes the ultimate bond between two individuals. You make a vow to your partner to love each other for better and for worse. You promise to stay with each other through thick and thin and in sickness and health. But let’s face it! Sometimes, things are bound to go astray and become strained.
Perhaps, you had a horrible fight with your spouse, you feel like you’re drifting apart from each other, or you’ve reached a point in life where it clicks that you need to strengthen and improve your relationship. All relationships require commitment, loyalty, and effort to keep your love intact for each other. Indeed, marriage is no exception.
With a bit of understanding, patience, and effort, you and your partner can rekindle that lost romance, improve your marital relationship, and recall the reasons why you pledged your love and vowed to stay with each other. In this guide, we look at 6 essential tips to improve relationship with your spouse to strengthen your love and connection once again!
Reasons Why Your Relationship with Your Spouse Weakens with Time
There can be several reasons why your relationship with your spouse weakened in the first place. Obviously, you both have a household to run, for which you probably have to work all day and night.
And once you have kids, you can bid farewell to your personal time and space, let alone spending quality time with your partner. It is evident that as your marriage passes with time, you have limited time to spend alone together.
So, how can busy couples build a sound and lasting relationship in this fast-paced and constantly evolving world? A successful and loving marriage requires continuous nurturing and attentiveness. But, when you both are out there racing through the day, it is relatively easy to lose sight of what your relationship with your spouse should really be like.
In the event of meeting an endless array of demands and caring and nurturing your kids, you tend to overlook your relationship with your partner. If both parties fail to make efforts quickly to sustain their relationship, your marriage and relationship with each other are bound to take a toll.
6 Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Spouse
The crux of the matter is, “What really makes a great couple?” Well, for starters, a great relationship begins with knowing yourself and accepting each other for who you really are, instead of trying to change each other.
Long-term, loving partnerships grow and mature with time on the foundations of commitment, acceptance, trust, and empathy. If you feel like your relationship with your spouse is starting to take a toll, here are 6 helpful tips to improve your relationship with your spouse that can help you for the best.
1. Listen to your spouse and make sure they listen to you
Couples who have been with each other for a long time usually start taking many things for granted. For instance, your partner might be trying to tell you that something you do has been bothering them for some time now.
Still, you will probably assume it’s not much of a big deal since you have been with each other for so long. However, what couples fail to realize is that it’s the tiniest things that keep adding up. So, eventually, when your spouse begins to feel unheard or invalidated, things start to falter, and it can lead to more significant intimacy and trust issues.
- If your partner is telling you there is an issue, you must take it seriously. Try to solve this problem, and if you can’t do it alone, do it together.
- Start addressing your spouse’s needs. If your partner is being open about what they want from you and this relationship, you must put in your best efforts to fulfill it. If you cannot do it, work in unison to reach a compromising situation.
Similarly, whenever you want to talk to your spouse about an important issue, always confirm with them if it is a suitable time to talk. This will determine that you’re being heard. Prevent starting a conversation when your spouse is busy elsewhere and will most likely not pay attention to you.
Schedule a time when you both are mentally and emotionally available to give each other full attention. However, there might be a need to drop everything else at hand under some circumstances and just listen to your spouse.
2. Spend quality time with your spouse
Quality time is the alone time you especially and unconditionally reserve for nobody else but your spouse. Make it a habit to take out an hour or so from your day to spend it with your husband/wife, no matter what happens. During this time, if your phone rings, just hang up, switch off your phone, and give your attention and time to your partner.
Listen to one another, watch and give compliments to each other, or just sit together and hold each other’s hand or cuddle. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life in each other’s presence and enjoy the small intimate moments.
Whether it’s been 2 years to your marriage or 20, it can easily feel like your relationship has gone haywire, and you and your spouse have fallen into a rut. An excellent thing to do is reserve a few hours every week and plan weekly relationship dates.
These dates don’t need to be very expensive or fancy. Even a small and simple activity such as taking a leisurely stroll down the beach or packing a nice picnic will suffice. Or, try cooking a nice meal for your spouse and eat together.
Spend this precious time to talk about what is going on in your lives. Try to resolve past issues, make up for the lost time, and discuss where your relationship is heading. You can also do something fun together that you would typically not do.
3. Converse your feelings to your spouse in a loving and constructive way
If you don’t want to hurt your spouse, avoid talking to them or letting out your anger or hurt feelings. Rest assured, you won’t be doing any favor to yourself or your partner with this.
Instead, the resentment and grudges you hold in your heart will only spread poison and toxicity in your relationship and eventually kill your relationship thread by thread.
Hence, it is essential to have open and friendly communication with your spouse to improve your relationship. If you don’t like something your spouse does, tell them constructively and lovingly to fix it.
4. Be honest and open with each other
Honesty is fundamental in every relationship, and even more so if you are married. Every husband and wife needs to know they can trust their spouse, and they should also make their spouse feel the same way.
However, openness and honesty go far beyond merely telling the truth. It also indicates not withholding any information that can affect your relationship somehow and not holding back when you want to address something.
- Don’t lie to your spouse because even the smallest lies can create distance and make your spouse lose trust in you. Even if you lie about saying something that does not bother you when it actually does can set the base for arguments and resentments.
- There is no harm in opening up or being vulnerable with your spouse. For instance, you should always tell your partner about your secret fantasies and hopes, your deepest darkest fears, and other things you would naturally hide from others.
- In the same way, you should allow your partner to be vulnerable and open with you. This establishes a sense of trust and cultivates a more powerful sense of affection and intimacy between you and your partner.
5. Express love verbally or nonverbally to your spouse
A common thing that usually happens between couples once the baby arrives. Their priorities change, and their attention shifts because there are several more important things at stake. In between all this, most couples lose their way around the simplest things, such as expressing their love verbally.
But sometimes, random acts of kindness go a very long way in showing your love to your spouse. Doing small acts such as preparing lunch, opening the home or car door, and setting the coffee machine to brew your morning coffee goes a long way.
Remind your beloved partner how much you love them without saying the actual words. It always feels good to be nice without reason. Besides being considerate and kind, it feels very satisfying to assure and remind your partner of your love.
After several years of marriage, most husbands and wives hesitate to express their love. Still, the best way to tell your spouse about your affection is to show it and speak it.
6. Fight fair and work on a compromise
In every relationship, especially marriage, conflicts are inevitable. It is best if you don't get caught up in this and leave it hanging without any solid solutions. The utmost solution for couples is to resolve whatever conflicts they have constructively and positively.
Calling each other names or belittling and demeaning one another will only make things worse. So, try compromising on some things and resolve whatever issues you have with your spouse before going to bed, or simply agree to disagree.
Compromising can be challenging, especially when you are high on emotions right after having an argument with your spouse. It’s completely normal to have arguments from time to time, but it is equally essential for you to be willing to let go of your stance.
This is called compromising and collaborating, and it is one of the most significant traits that defines marriage and ensures a successful relationship with your spouse.
- Don’t think that one spouse must be crowned the winner in an argument. This kind of thinking is toxic, and it will only pit you against your spouse.
- Let go of all the things that are not worth arguing or fighting over. Even if you are right, it isn’t worth stressing yourself.
- Compromise only tends to strengthen your relationship with your spouse. When both partners set their needs aside, including the need to be correct, you can work mutually as a team for both partners’ betterment.
- You should always be willing to end the argument because it becomes complicated to settle things down once things escalate.